My battle seems to have started in February of this year, but I know now that it started well before then. It likely started when I was a late teen, early adult. I have experienced many head injuries over my lifetime. The most recent was when I fell on my head at a competition. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I realize in hindsight that it was another concussion in a long line of them. I would guess I have had at least 10 concussions in my life, three of them very traumatic head injuries. I figured my body would heal itself and I had nothing to worry about. I regret not taking them more seriously until now. I regret being so flippant when I "got my bell wrung", but regrets do nothing for me now.
I seem to have stabilized in terms of the manic and depressive episodes, but not without side effects. Some of the things I am experiencing are extreme weight loss/gain (8 lb swing in 24 hours), dizziness, blurry vision, confusion, and panic episodes due to the confusion.
As I write this, I am in another depressive episode. I felt fine when I woke up, but cried the whole way to work. I felt like I had lost something. I felt defeated, despair, and helpless.
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